Perspective Part 1

Working full time in a potato factory can really give a girl some perspective! Here is my list of 10 work-related things that I will never take for granted EVER AGAIN. 

1. Working 9 to 5

Only working a mere 7 hours with a glorious 1 hour lunch break is pretty much a dream come true. Working anywhere between 10 - 16 hours whilst on your feet, staring at potatoes and getting yelled at by a bearded lady is the shit of NIGHTMARES.

2. Only getting up at 7am to get ready for work

Oh what a beaaaaaaautiful morning!

versus getting up at 3:30am

Somebody kill me!

3. Wearing nice clothes

There is nothing quite as depressing as wearing a blue hair net, a luminous yellow vest and at least 7 hideous layers to try and keep the cold at bay. I pretty much feel like a dusty yellow marshmellow man at all times. Oh to wear dresses and skirts and blazers and shoes that don't have an orthopaedic function. RESULT.

What to wear? What to wear?

4. Drinking super delicious lattes on my way to work

Nothing better than a single shot, skinny latte made with REAL coffee from some exotic location and made with REAL milk...from a cow. The several cups of coffee consumed each day at the factory are made with no name brand coffee and with powdered milk...POWDERED milk. 

5. Going to the ladies whenever I damn well please

Having to wait for some lady with a 'toilet relief' badge to take my potato grading place whilst I nip to the loo. Outrageous! I have become too scared to drink water with the fear that toilet relief has, in fact, gone AWOL.

6. Zero fear of getting bitten by a snake when going to the ladies

Can't say I will miss finally arriving in the ladies only to look up and see this poster. OH GREAT...just great.

7. Staring at a computer all day

I used to complain about having to stare at a computer all day long. Well, that was before I traded in my computer for potatoes. NEWSFLASH - you can't look at Facebook/BuzzFeed/Gmail/Funny Cat Videos on a potato can you?! POTATOES = 0% entertainment value. FACT.

8. Eating 

I used to love a leisurely stroll through the city streets before deciding on some delicious Itsu sushi or perhaps a M&S rainbow salad for lunch. ALAS, now I am faced with a dodgy tuna sandwich that I made at 4am because I forgot to sort something out the night before. DRAT.

9. Office Banter

I am totes rebellious and chit chat with the girls (the girls being hairy chin Heather and kiwi Julie - both in their 50s), but it's pretty much frowned upon. HOW IS TALKING A CRIME?  But yes, I long for the days of office bants, birthday treats, hook up rumours, bitching sessions in the kitchen, office games, bake offs and general chats about life and love and the weather (yes I am total Brit in that respect).

10. After Work Drinks

Oh how I miss after work drinks that involve an actual bar, with actual ambience, and wine that is more expensive than a loaf of bread. Lately I have been enjoying some super classy nights of downing half a box of goon before passing out in my bunk bed. RAD.