Seed Shed

So today was my fourth time in the glorious seed shed. Tanja (my German NBF) and I have been lucky enough to score an extra day of work in said shed since we started! Proof that it never hurts to ask and/or be a big bad suck up and/or to get your waps out!

This shed is a lot better than our usual shed as there are only 3 workers, a forklift driver and our supervisor. We are under constant supervision at the big, bad, main shed - getting crapped on for over or under grading, being late, singing Christmas carols in June etc. But in the shed where potatoes go to die and quality doesn’t matter, work is a lot less stressful, because, YES, grading potatoes can be very, very stressful.

So there are two jobs in the seed shed. The first role involves standing up some stairs at a conveyor belt where the old potatoes are delivered. Here the potatoes are sprayed with red fungicide and coming bouncing along the conveyor belt, literally all bloodied and screaming, whilst you find the most rotten or fossilised looking of them all and send them to their deaths in the waste bin. Glamorous I know.


View from the top. Or very bottom depending
on which way you look at it.

These then bounce along some other machine then onto another conveyor belt. There is more potato screams of despair as they head to the slicer that cuts them all up and spits them onto yet another conveyor belt, headed to their evil executioners/circumsizers (depending on the shape of the potato). This is job number two. On this conveyor belt there are some blades attached to the side and we have to find any potatoes that the slicer missed and we get to ‘SMASH THE POTATO’ (said in evil German accent followed by evil laughter).

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel for the massacred spuds as these are then replanted/resurrected to create brand new potatoes. Mind blowing I know.

So during a day in the seed shed there are a few movies/characters that always seem to roll through my mind.

1.Bane
We have to wear these mouth mask thingies that make me feel like Bane from Dark Knight Rises. So for the first good hour of work all my thoughts are said in a Bane voice. I end up sounding like Sean Connery (yes still in my head) and (yes for the record I can do a mean Sean Connery accent not just in my head). BUT seriously, do their voices not sound exactly the same?

I also do a little dance like this when I see the potatoes rolling toward me...

2. The Shawshank Redemption
During our lunch break we sit at a small table just outside of the warehouse instead of our usual lunch area on the other side of the property. Something about the stark light, the massive concrete area where the empty crates are kept and me imaginging my water bottle is a cold beer, reminds me of that scene when Andy and some of the inmates do some work tarring the roof. Probably not great that I am comparing my life to a film about a tres depressing high security prison but anyway. 

3. Zoolander.
Regardless of my gloves and mask and various pieces of protective, dead sexy, workwear, I always come out of there with black panda eyes, black smears everywhere, coughing dramatically and declaring that I have the black lung.

4. Shrek
This one was a once off just because I found a potato that looked like Shrek...who soon met his fate. Moo ha ha.

 
5. Waterboy
So the forklift driver aka the man who gives us free chocolate who I cannot understand at all, well he has reminded of me of someone since I met him and I just have not been able to put my finger on it. So you know that coach, Farmer Fran, from Waterboy who no one can understand...BINGO.

Sorry for the delay in posting but I have had some WIFI issues! Up next are some scandalous tales from the backpackers as well as tips on how to NOT lose your mind whilst working 17 hours in one day.

Laters! xx